Holiday Grief with Old Towne Counseling Services

The holidays are quickly approaching and although this is generally the time for family gatherings, traditions, gift giving and making new memories, this can be an especially tough time for someone who is grieving. The holidays can be stressful to begin with, there’s planning, cooking, cleaning, shopping, traveling, the financial strain, difficult family dynamics, pressure to meet everyone’s expectations, and a limited amount of time to do it all in. If you add on the intense pain and wide range of feelings that come with suffering a loss, the holidays can become detrimental to someone’s mental health.  

Any loss can be complicated to deal with including the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or a divorce from a significant other. An individual can go from feeling sad, angry, or shocked to feeling guilt, loneliness and numbness which can all disrupt their physical, emotional and mental health which can in turn affect their eating, sleeping patterns, concentration, decision making and social energy levels. While grief is a normal and expected reaction to a loss, everyone experiences it differently and there is no one-size-fits-all process, amount of time, right or wrong way to endure it.  

If you find yourself experiencing grief around the holidays, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Around 40% of Americans in 2021 had no interest in celebrating the holidays due to their feelings of grief and loss according to Memphis Communities in Schools. A survey conducted by the American Psychological Association in 2023 reported that 89% of adults in the U.S. feel stressed during the holiday season. The stress of a loss can lead to depression, anxiety, physical illness, and substance misuse if not addressed (McLean Hospital, 2025).  

Allowing yourself to express grief is important. It is already difficult to discuss grief, but the idea of asking for help can seem selfish, like you’re interfering with someone else’s happiness during the holidays. This way of thinking can lead to isolation and an even deeper sense of loss (Lee & Hamblen-Kelly, n.d.) Yes, grief can be complicated but recognizing it can help to cope. If you feel like this, it could be beneficial to seek grief counseling or join a grief support group. Knowing that you are not alone and getting an opportunity to connect with individuals going through a similar situation can help to provide new perspectives and offer much needed support (DeSieno, 2022). Some other ways to help you find connections include looking at photographs of happy memories, making your favorite foods, and sharing stories among family and friends.  

You do not have to suppress your feelings. Acknowledge them and accept them. Allow yourself to experience the wave of emotions that come with loss. Give yourself permission to say “no”. You may not be ready to celebrate the holidays the way you have in the past, and that is okay. This year you can make new traditions, celebrate with new people, and find ways to honor the person you lost. If the weight of the loss becomes too much to bear alone, REACH OUT! Talk to close family or friends, attend support groups or talk to a professional. Self-care is crucial when dealing with grief during the holidays. Take time to check in with yourself and set realistic expectations for this holiday season!  

Your days may not seem merry and bright but ‘tis the season to let people in!  

References 

DeSieno, L. (2022, November 28). Grief and loss throughout the holiday season. Mayo Clinic Health System. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/grief-and-loss-throughout-the-holiday-season 

Lee, J., & Hamblen-Kelly, A. (n.d.). Navigating the Holidays through Grief and Loss. Memphis Communities In Schools. Retrieved October 30, 2025, from https://www.cismemphis.org/navigating-the-holidays-through-grief-and-loss/ 

McLean Hospital. (2025). The holiday survival guide for your mental health. Deconstructing Stigma. https://deconstructingstigma.org/guides/holidays